Respawn Point O Rama DX: Director's Cut Edition
by STARTANGELO
Summary: The People at the Popular Twitch.TV Group Respawn Point do wacky adventures. This Updated Re-Write of the Classic Original Features New Characters, New Scenes and Updated Retina Display Graphics for your iOS Device.


**Respawn Point O Rama DX: Director's Cut Edition  
WARNING: The Following story may contain complete and utter insanity not suitable for: Young Children, the elderly, or anyone who doesn't want to have long-term psychological damage. Ye have been warned, you foolish mortals...**

This story is a Fiction, any resemblance to any events historical or fiction is purely coincidental. The Characters in this story, however, are not.

Respawn Point O Rama DX: Director's Cut Edition

By a Bunch of Nitwits with nothing better to do

In an arcade in britain, An irish drunk and a british game nerd we're checking out the video game selection they had...  
Jonneh» Wouldn't you love to sit in that?  
Fishyash» Yeah i would love to sit in that!  
As they found over who got to sit in it first, Jonneh leaped forward then Sat in the The chair, the chair came alive and Jonneh felt like it was giving him a retarded back massage, the chair was developed by a japanese company in china afterwards they played a VR Nintendolphins simulation to have a rippling feeling on their backs. They then devloped another Dolphin simulator with the assistance of nintendo specifically for the european game market, because the europeans are kinky like that. As jonneh Stuck his quarted into the machine, the Nintendo logo popped on screen, and then they saw dolphins. But before Jonneh could finish the first level, a massive tentacle shot out of the chair and into Jonneh's mouth and took him to another dimension! A fellow game nerd was walking back to the chair with some quarters, his name was Zack Harrot. "What happen" Yelled Zack as the Machine shot a strange white fluid at zack, His legs started to melt like the candy coating that came from a box of taffy that i have on my macbook just above the F4 Key. Ash then ran off in Horror.

**MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER DIMENSION**

Jonneh felt horrible, it felt like 2 giant pelicans collided into time like in the Large Hardon Collider but more Sexier. All the while Jonneh felt air crushing on his seemingly weak and fragile bones, but it felt like he was larger right now for some reason. Jonneh Woke up and realized that he was now a Nidoking! But before he could do anything he noticed that he was in the classic arcade game Pac-Man. It played out much like a regular game of Pac-Man but more sexier, before Jonneh could do anything he shot a hyper beam at the Pink Ghost, Who turned out to be Shakekiller, who was running in circles holding a rocket launcher tied to a bag of bloody chicken wings. The sight disturbed Jonneh who eventually jumped to the next arcade game like a retarded version of wreck it ralph. It seemed similar to the last game he was in, only this time everything was not Pixels, Instead it was powered by 128 Bit Graphic Engine with Anti Aliasing and A Steaming pile of Rocks that looks like eggs but instead were Crudely rendered spheres made to looks like eggs but wern't and had massive amounts of texture filtering applied to them because the game designers were too afraid that critics would scold them for having pixelated Textures.

Jonneh soon realized he was in an alternate universe where Rare started to make games featuring Banjo Kazooie and The Olympic games. The thought made jonneh puke in his mind and made him furious. Jonneh was outraged at Rare, so outraged that he took his copy of Donkey Kong Country and snapped it in half, causing the Motherboard inside the explode sending him flying miles away into the sky, like team rocket if they were a Nidoking. When he woke up he stumbled across a Group of Scandiavian Terrorist who were attempting to take over the world with their army of magical flying DeLoreans. He found them to be insanely rude so he shot hyper beam at them and all of their deloreans exploded but one. He tried to get in one but could not because his Nidoking Form was too massive to fit into the DeLorean, so he then tore off the top so he could at least drive it, he flew away in the DeLeroan, on his mission to destroy Rare's headquarters. As soon as he arrived in britain he realized that in this Universe Video gaming was considered a Religion and thus all video game development studios were heavily fortified, like the vatican but with more SMGs and Rockets, And Porn. Jonneh Realized he would have to Metal Gear Solid on their asses but it would be difficult because of he was a Nidoking and thus he was large. He would Try his best though.

**Meanwhile at the Arcade where Zack Was**

Zack Realized why his legs were melting, because Dr. Robotnik had taken over Nintendo and Designed the Arcade Game to unleash an army of Roboticizing Nanobots so that he could take over this dimension as well. As the Nanobots worked their way up Zack's Legs they Reach is Pelvic regions causing them to malfunction and halt at zack's Belly Button, Turning zack into a Half Man Half Machine, Kinda like Bunnie rabbot from SATAM or JC Denton from Deus Ex. Zack managed to gain control of his now robotic body, he used his new jet powers to break into a local weapons factory where he grabbed a shotgun to fight the oncoming apocalypse, but it soon came to an end as the aperture science handheld portal device that the Dr. Robotnik has portaled next to zack and zack was then knocked unconcious by Dr. Robotnik's Penis, which at this moment had grown to be nearly 10 Inches wide and almost 5 Feet long.

**Meanwhile at Jonneh**

Jonneh was Having sex with a tree, he was trying to get camoflagged but he had the sudden urge to rape tree for some reason, once he was done he Went Full Metal Gear solid into Rare's Evil Fortress of Doom, Once he penetrated the outer rim he was able to make it inside Rare's Main Building, Avoiding almost all physical contact (Except for an incident in the Womans Restroom, But let's not discuss that).  
He managed to reach the top of the building, but what he was not expecting was that Rare was now run by a Massive Nidoqueen Ruler! "Welcome to Rare Headquarters, we're currenrtly going under new management, so pardon the mess." Said the Nidoking while removing her clothing. "Umm, is this the part where you kill me?" Said Jonneh friengthignlyt. "No, But if you join me in my quest to conquer Earth, instead this is part where you Fuck Me..." said the Nidoqueen as she finished taking off her clothers, revealing her nidoqueen body in full glory.

Jonneh's Nidoking instincts kicked in and Jonneh said "Don't Mind if i do!" He then walked up to her and things got Intimate. Jonneh Climbed on top of Her and inserted his Flash Drive into her USB 3.0 Port. He began to gently hammer it even deeper into her, like driving a steak into the ground only a lot sexier, and she made sex noises, she moaned and barked because of the Pleasure of Tension she was receiving. He began to play with her Boobs just like he was playing Call Of Duty on his XBox, Or in this case SexBox. He continued To Pound her Quarter Pounder like in the McDonalds Dollar Menu. Just when Jonneh was about to Blast his 1000 Island Salad Dressing into the Nidoqueen a Giant Tentacle shot up his Penis and sent waves of ecstasy coursing though his body, it implanted Nuerohormones into his Testicles and brain which caused him to turn to the dark side. He Felt the Evil Course through his veins like a 4 course meal only ALOT more Sexier. As a Consequence of his new evil power, his balls went thermonnuclear and he fell on his back and blasted his nuclear radiation into the atmosphere like the chernobyl disaster only alot sexier. The event caused widespread chaos across england and relatively destroyed the english government, starting a Civil war between scotland and wales which destroyed the last fragment of order in the united kingdom, All thanks to Jonneh's Radioactive Testicles. "Muahaha! My Plan worked! I lured you here in order to perform the ritual to awaken the hidden power of your Testicles! Now that the Ritual is complete, Me and my associates Tim Cook and Dr. Robotnik of Majestic 12 will step in and restore order! MUAHAHAHA!".

Jonneh was unable to accurately understand how much damage he had caused because of his new evil power. Despite his new evil power, he still had some good left in him so he overcame his inner darkness and awakened his Persona! He snuck off by telling the nidoqueen he was going to email tim cook asking him to put mind control dildos in his new evil experiment, The MacPad 4 Nano. After he snuck off, he went to the dungeon beneath rares headquarters, where he found flaming tricycle, DamnHedge, and Ash. it turns out flaming and hedge were two of the Chaos emeralds that the nidoqueen needed to take over the world, and Ash was, well... Ash. In an adjoining room was Zack Harrot, the largest example of how advanced Rare's Technological developments were. Nidoqueen was afraid of attack because the other day She had space dildo pirates attack them and crash their boat and took their booty. In both meanings they were enemoies of her alliance.

Nidoqueen was hell bent on taking over the world using Rare as a guise, she would take over multiple universes with the help of Dr. Robotnik and Tim Cook. Jonneh then Used his hyper beam to break Ash, Flaming, Damnhedge and Zack free, They then proceeded to tell Jonneh what Nidoqueen was planning, She was part of a secret organization called Majestic 12, an organization comprised up of 12 individuals whose goal was to take over The World, and thank to Dr. Robotnik and his Technology, they would be able to do that and more. Jonneh would be able to stop them, but they didn't have much time, The group ran off to the local armory, where they picked up the necessary equipment for battle. Jonneh then took Zack up to Nidomega's room, while Ash and the other began to make their way up the building like tartarus in persona 3. Jonneh reached Nidomega's Lair, where she did an evil laughed as she readied her army for an invasion of the other realm, Despite jonneh being evil, he still had some good in him, and did not want her to take over the other realm, because that would mean less time for sex, so he walked up to Nidomega and attempted to knock her out, but she managed to break free and she pressed a button on the wall, casuing the wall to open to a secret room adjoining her room, as the wall opened and soildier's wearing bikini armour and lazer dildo's poured out of the wall.

In a desperate attempt to escape Majestic 12's Grasp, He grabbed Zack and Smashed the glass window behind Nidomega open, He then made a leap for freedom as he jumped out of the window with zack in arms, just as they were falling Zack took out his Magical Pop Tart and broke it in half, Unleashing the Legendary Beast known as Nyan Cat. Once they got on they began to slap each other with dildos made from the finest cotton candy, the dildos contained magical powers which increased their senses 10 fold, while Nidomega was steaming and erupting out of anger and fury. The Nyan cat was outfitted with leather chaps and dildo lances. The First thing Zack did was fly off to the Destroy The Critical Forces of the Building, First he flew off to the Everywhere Fire the Nyan Beams at whatever moved. The Rare Building Became Highly Damaged as a Result, and its inhabitants were panicking. The Building then had to be evacuated because of the severe damage the building had recieved. Things got worse when Zack blasted through the building into multiple walls on his building, causing severe damage to anyone who came into contact with him. Zack then Burst his way out of the building in an extreme flash of rainbow colored light that traveled for miles.

The skies above the Rare Building were Filled because the building had to be evacuated, all of the Rare Employees and Majestic 12 Troopers got onto their flying dolphins. Zack then gave a Parachute to Jonneh and then Jonneh Jumped off the Nyan Cat, and landed safely on the ground. Afterwards The Better Business Bureau arrived in 5 Helicopters filled with agents, they then sent in their finest secret agents and spies outside of the Rare Building, where they began to blast red bull at the walls of the building causing the building to grow wings and fly away. Before the building completely fell apart, FlamingTricycle got on his Flying Flaming Tricycle Equipped with Titanium Ass Weaponry Capable of Blasting 2 Rockets per Second, While DamnHedge Used His Jetpack and Super Rocket Launcher. The Super Rocket Launcher Rockets were made up of Used Condoms and the Explosive Urine that was only found in the Restrooms at walt disney world on sundays. Ash then jumped on top of the Nyan cat while zack flew by. Zack was using his Dildo Cannon 2000, Capable of Firing Dildos at Speed of Up to 300,000 Kilometers per second.

The Group then rested onto the ground, looking over the massive flying disaster that was the rare building. As they prepared to attack again a giant flying place came out of nowhere Bearing a Giant "12" on the side of it. As it landed, the remaining leading portion of Majestic 12 Poured out of the side, the People who came out included, but not limited to: Dr. Robotnik, Tim Cook, Ron Paul, Walt Disney's Disembodied head, the majority of the supreme court, and edward cullen. They got off of the plane and started attacking the group with their Penises, Dr Robotnik Flew off and edward cullen grabbed Jonneh and took him to the top of the Rare Building. Jonneh and Edward then began Penis Jousting like flatworms, Jonneh's Sexual prowress was too much for Edward Cullen to handle, Jonneh orgasmed blasting his Radioactive Semen at Edward causing him and his sparkly Penis to like the guy from Scanners.

Just when The Group down below had been defeated and damnhedge had turned Tim Cook's Head into a sex weapon because he hates Apple so much for some reason, The Group Encountered Dr. Robotnik on His Flydolphin and Was Vomiting Urine at Zack, suddenly the succulent drink of Urine zack was drinking turned into a shower of LSD turning Zack into a majestic angel who was hell bent on eating every single god damn Penis in the universe. Zack was taken to the top of the building ready to take off and soar so he jumped, he waited for his wings to catch air but they did not and he feel asleep in midair dreaming about having sex with Edward Cullen and his Sparkly Penis,. "HAHAHAHAA NOW YOU ARE GAY." shouted Robotnik until he realized Zack was not gay but was actually Having sex with the Nidoqueen in his sleep, the nidoqueen was standing on a Flying UFO that became flying due to the red bull. Then a swarm of Gelatinous Flying Dildos dive bombed the surrounding Area exploding into White goo. Just then, zack jumped off the Nidoqueen, He had collected enough Sex Energy to reach his Final Form, Omega Zack, That had the ability to Fly and Blast Nuclear Silly String from his Wrists, Like a Spiderman Wannabe but only a lot less Sexier.

Zack Flew and Began Destroying the Rest of the now-flying building. Jonneh jumped onto the platform and confronted Nidoqueen. "Oh, haha, who do you think you are? I am Nidoqueen, King of the Jews, and I am going to destroy the World!" Jonneh looked over the Massive Beast, while the Nidoqueen Looked back at him giving him a highly seducted look that made him Hard instantly, he proceed forward and began to suck on her prime ribs. It felt like sucking the jelly out of a jelly filled donut. Jonneh manged to suck everything out of her boobs, so now her boobs looked like deflated balloons. Jonneh then had an orgasm because the Sex Energy was too much for his flux capacitors to handle. His Penis shot 5 Gallons of Jonneh's Radioactive New England Clam Chowder at the Nidoqueen, Causing her body to go thermonuclear like Jonneh did earlier, but only a lot more... oh screw it you know the rest.

She then began to mutate into a Thermonuclear Thermos like the ones that those People down in Antarticictirictiricta like to drink from. The thermos lid opened and a massive laser cannon rose out of the top and was aimed directly at jonneh, All hope was lost. But Suddenly, Zack Harrot in his new form came speeding out of nowhere looking like a retarded version of Kid Icarus. He blasted his Weaponry at the Thermos, Destroying it in a fiery Blow Up of Blow-upenis. All of the Respawn pointers then Seized control of the Rare Building and Enslaved its employees and forced them to make a new game for the newly founded indie game studio RPGames. This game was Titled World of Zack. Zack then used all of his money to take his friends back to their own dimension and leave rare on a neverending quest to continue making Banjo Kazooie 3. They then home for their home demension, and everything was put back the way it was before they defeated Majestic 12 and Saved the Universe, OR WAS IT?  
~Fin~


End file.
